Chapter Eight

The Long Way Back

We assemble in a small meeting room, Lee’s three grown kids, Rick’s wife, the surgeon, the hospital’s care coordinator, and an advanced nurse practitioner who works with the neurologist.

The surgeon gives his presentation and startles everyone in the room by stating that he had not been aware that Lee had dementia. The ANP and I look at him with our mouths open. I wonder if he ever read his patient in-take sheet, where I had written “Exelon” on the line for medications that Lee was taking.

Everyone says that Lee will come back but not all the way.

Rick is adamant that he does not want his dad in a home. He begs me not to do it, saying that he will come to our town and help me take care of him. He says his wife is fully behind him and that they will move near us if necessary. Meredith also hopes against a home. Debbie says she will back me on whatever I decide. We are told about a home in Seward and decide to check it out on Sunday.

The four of us visit the home on Sunday. It seems like a nice place, but I keep thinking that Lee is going to come around and will hate me for sticking him in a home. The monthly charge is $2700, an amount we could handle if absolutely necessary, though it will mean a drastic change for me. Debbie and I stay in my home that night while Rick and Meredith go back to the hospital. In looking through the Medicare handbook, as well as our supplemental insurance papers, I learn that assisted living home care is not covered by either.

The next morning we call Rick before we leave for Anchorage, and he says his dad is fine. Lee had slept all night and woke up completely lucid.

I drive into Anchorage, afraid to get my hopes up, but Lee is indeed lucid and rational. Rick says he had been with his dad during the night, and had told him the hospital would never release him unless he starting sleeping at night. After that, Lee stayed in his bed and slept though the night. Rick has been a godsend during this past week. He has shown compassion and patience I never knew he had.

"What happened?" Lee asks me.

“A reaction to drugs,” I lie again.

He is discharged later that day and I take him home. He has been hospitalized for eight days for this reaction. Debbie and Meredith return to Arizona, and Rick follows me home to help with his dad.

We all feel like we’ve dodged a bullet. That ton of concrete I’ve been carrying around on my shoulders all week begins to dissipate.

***

We are all quite fragile emotionally after we get home. Rick continues to stay, and only goes home occasionally.

I sell our hot tub and gazebo to a local man, and recommend Rick when the buyer asks me who could move it for him. It is obvious to me by this time that I don’t need Rick’s help twenty-four hours a day, and he needs to earn some money.

The job turns into some more work, and by June Rick is taking on a huge job–that of building a seven thousand square foot home in our neighborhood.

Lee is doing well, and I feel that the danger has passed. Rick eats dinner with us almost every night he is here, and spends time with his dad.

***